Kenny is back in the hospital, I almost got hit by a bus, my mom had to go for a cat scan this morning. Solid Tuesday.

Kenny says that I always look like a princess, but I never even try to look good because what you see is what you get. I shouldn’t have to impress anyone. He thinks so highly of me, sigh. It’s cute though.

Mathcore is A+

I was conditioning my hair this morning and it made me really sad because it looks like cum and the worst thing ever is getting cum in your hair. 

Choking myself with an imaginary noose

I wonder what it will take to let it loose

I am embarrassed by my scars and imperfections

pink marks that reveal my vulnerability

I swear my throat closes itself when I am trying to sleep

and when I wake it’s as if I was wading in water neck deep

My ribs stick through my skin and my weary eyes tremble midday

I need to learn to cope without a crutch, I must pick myself up. 

At first to you I was a beautiful flower until you ripped my roots out of the ground and I withered. How wrong was I to blossom for you? Now my petals are falling apart in the dead of winter. I have become a weed in your garden, no more purpose or direction just a weary invasion, an ugly mark left on your territory. I am forgotten and unnoticed because no longer am I a colorful burst of life, I am dead.

wow I hate having a vagina oh my god

I feel like I’m the only girl that likes to take it in the bum, I should be a gay boy or something um

I wonder if there are people who don’t masturbate. I mean, isn’t just a natural drive? People have to touch themselves!!!!11!

Who wants to kiss each others cheeks and watch lame movies and shit

NONE OF YOU TALK TO ME ANYMORE C’MON WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS AT I MISS YOU

Everything always vanishes so fast. Those fast rushes of sweetness fade away in an instant. I long for a hand to hold. 

It’s weird going to shows now. There is always some random guy that finds his way to me. Simple touches and flirting. It’s just weird thinking about it because I never see any of them again. I wonder why they do such silly things. 

Sitting in my room naked wanting to die. This is a daily occurence.

I’m choosing to be straight edge because it’s a healthier life for myself. I am too emotionally unstable to lose control. I will be more cautious in letting people in and be sure that we both care a hell of a lot about each other so no one gets hurt. I don’t need alcohol and smokes and the greens to feel good or to fit in. All I will do is be myself. Whatever everyone else chooses to do is up to them, but this is a choice that I have made.